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 thread  Author  Topic: Moments in History  (Read 192 times)
Ivan Braginski
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xx Moments in History
« Thread started on: Apr 20th, 2012, 10:26pm »

(I was always thinking of random events in history, if they were Hetalianized, so I decided to just drabble whatever out and see where it goes. Believe me, I'm sure I'll have more events. It's History. There's plenty to choose from. xD)

America was hammocking in his backyard, looking peaceful as ever. His arms were up supporting his head in a relaxed way, and he didn't have a care in the world. He was wearing a red tank top and blue bermuda shorts. Since his arms were up, under his armpit, one could see a somewhat archipelago of beauty marks, undiscovered by himself until just less than forty years ago.

As he was lying comfortably in the sun, Japan lurked by. In his mind, America was helpless at the moment and wouldn't do anything to stop what he was about to do. He had a stick in his hand, and attached to the end, another stick, and several sticks attached to each other, all by string wrapped around the ends of each piece. And at the very tip of the wobbly stick pole was a small toy airplane, also tied tied to the stick. Hiding behind a bush, Japan slowly extended the pole towards America, keeping a very steady hand with it. And soon, Japan poked America, right in his archepelago of beauty marks under his armpit.

America immediately woke up, and in lowering his arms doing so, Japan's airplane had broken. As America gained his balance from the hammock and stood up, he looked around angrily, holding the broken airplane, that had Japan's flag on it, in his hand. "Hey! Japan, if you're out there, come out now and show yourself!" But Japan held his breath, and stayed hidden in the bush, completely unseen or noticed by the American. Fed up, America yelled, "You know Japan... This. Means. War."

America stormed off to tell his boss he was declaring war on Japan. When it became official, the Axis had a meeting.

Germany face-palmed. "Japan, you IDIOT. Now zhat America has declared var on you, ve must honor our alliance and declare var on him! Do you know vhat zhis means!? It means we might as well have already lost!"

"I-I'm sorry," Japan croaked. "I didn't sink he would respond rike sat..." Japan looked down in shame, wondering what he was thinking when he did it.

And so that's how America joined the Allies in World War II. USA! USA!
« Last Edit: Apr 20th, 2012, 10:42pm by Ivan Braginski » User IP Logged

~Realize the motive behind most things I do is to have fun~
If I'm online but not responding for a while, it probably means I've fallen asleep; sorry.
I enjoy writing. I LOVE anything hypnosis, especially when its descriptive. Feel free to rp with me sometime. ^J^
Ivan Braginski
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Tears of pain, tears of joy~, One thing nothing can destroy~, Soviet pride, deep inside~, We are one~

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xx Re: Moments in History
« Reply #1 on: Apr 21st, 2012, 12:10am »

The year was 1850. America had just fought Mexico for his glasses, and paid him 25 million to expand his house. Now fully grown, America was facing a new problem: should slavery be allowed in the new rooms of his house? America knew he needed the slave’s labor to pick the cotton growing on the south side of his house, but he also knew slavery was morally wrong. A part of him wanted to expand slavery to produce more cotton, while the other part of him wanted the spread of slavery to end.

The years went on and America seemed to be developing a sort of bi-polar disorder. He was becoming more and more split within himself every day. Sometimes he would start punching himself, and the next day would have to put a band-aid on the bleeding spot to try to heal the wound. But band-aids didn't heal wounds. They just comforted them and put the problem aside.

But it was when his new boss was to be elected that things changed completely. The year was 1860 and America was torn over who to vote for. While there were four candidates, it seemed, as most votes go, the decision was between two. Most of America wanted to vote for the boss that was going to stop the spread of slavery, while other parts of himself wanted to vote for the pro-slavery candidate. In fact, part of America didn't even put the anti-slavery candidate on the ballots. So nobody in those regions voted for him.

However, since most of America was against slavery, the anti-slavery candidate won. The regions that didn't vote for him were outraged.

And soon, one of America's feet gave out from under him. Literally. He tripped and fell, totally not seeing it coming. His foot had detached from his body. And began forming another America. Soon other parts of America's legs joined it. And in 1861, a new nation was formed, but had ended up cutting America down half his size.

The new nation took off America's glasses and placed them onto his own face. He had most of America's features, but was missing the cowlick. "I declare myself the Confederate States of America!" he shouted to the other, who was still on the ground.

The original America was no longer in pain, but was now trying to regain his human form. Since everything from his waste down was gone, his torso had to form into new legs. Soon this process was complete, and he was able to stand up, and scowled at the new Confederacy, shaking his head. "Dude, you just made a big mistake. I'm s'posed to be United!"

But Confederacy just smirked. "Well, Union, good luck gittin' me back. Cuz I ain't goin' back. No way, no how." He made a 'no way' gesture with his hands and started walking away.

"We'll just see about that, ya rebel!" yelled Union after him.

And the two began training themselves for the battle that would end up hurting so much...

America's Civil War.
« Last Edit: Apr 21st, 2012, 12:11am by Ivan Braginski » User IP Logged

~Realize the motive behind most things I do is to have fun~
If I'm online but not responding for a while, it probably means I've fallen asleep; sorry.
I enjoy writing. I LOVE anything hypnosis, especially when its descriptive. Feel free to rp with me sometime. ^J^
Ivan Braginski
God
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member is offline

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Tears of pain, tears of joy~, One thing nothing can destroy~, Soviet pride, deep inside~, We are one~

YIM YIM
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Gender: Female
Posts: 6856
xx Re: Moments in History
« Reply #2 on: Aug 1st, 2012, 11:11pm »

(I will also now do news and cultural mistakes from one country to another)

America was sitting in his chair, feeling terrible. His mouth was dry and almost no sweat was forming on his body to help cool him, except for a little on his forehead near New Jersey, New York City and Connecticut. And where he was sweating, he was sweating a lot. But the rest of him was completely dehydrated and dying in the heat. "Aw man," he said in a tired voice that got higher as he continued talking. "What I wouldn't do for a drink right now... I feel like I'm about to pass out..." His vision darkened and he began seeing black spots. America was going through a drought, while the tristate area was having storms and floods.
User IP Logged

~Realize the motive behind most things I do is to have fun~
If I'm online but not responding for a while, it probably means I've fallen asleep; sorry.
I enjoy writing. I LOVE anything hypnosis, especially when its descriptive. Feel free to rp with me sometime. ^J^
Ivan Braginski
God
ImageImageImageImageImage


member is offline

Avatar

Tears of pain, tears of joy~, One thing nothing can destroy~, Soviet pride, deep inside~, We are one~

YIM YIM
Homepage PM

Gender: Female
Posts: 6856
xx Re: Moments in History
« Reply #3 on: Aug 3rd, 2012, 04:29am »

(And now for little cultural error stories I found on some website grin First I'll put the Hetalia version of it, then I'll write explanation and after that it will have what it originally said.)

America was checking on his manufacturing businesses when he decided to sell Japan some golf balls. For convenience, he put them into packs of four and brought them over to Japan's house himself, ringing the doorbell. Japan opened it, and bowed. "Kon'nichiwa, America-san. What brings you here?"

America almost shoved the package of golf balls into Japan's face before dropping it into his hands, which Japan had to act fast to catch. "Just brought'cha some golf balls for ya, man! I put it in a pack of four for convenience!"

Japan was looking at the package with confused curiosity until he realized what America just said and looked at the package with fear now. "Four? America, I can't serr these!" He shoved the package back into America's hands before shutting his sliding door closed on the American.


Explanation: A golf ball manufacturing company packaged golf balls in packs of four for convenient purchase in Japan. Unfortunately, pronunciation of the word "four" in Japanese sounds like the word "death" and items packaged in fours are unpopular.
User IP Logged

~Realize the motive behind most things I do is to have fun~
If I'm online but not responding for a while, it probably means I've fallen asleep; sorry.
I enjoy writing. I LOVE anything hypnosis, especially when its descriptive. Feel free to rp with me sometime. ^J^
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